Muse Topics 4

If you could wish for one thing, and be assured of getting it, what would you wish for?

If I could wish for something and be assured of getting it, what would it be? For one day I wish I could know what was going on inside my best friend’s head. I would give anything to really know what he’s thinking when he gives me that lopsided grin. The grin he seems to reserve only for me… I’ve seen him grin at other people, but it’s not the same grin. This one has a special quality. Sometimes I like to think its affection… I wish I knew.


I wish I knew what it was that made his eyes light up just that way. He’s got the most incredible eyes… though many only see the icy blue businesslike gaze, there is another. A warm, soothing look, where the icy blue gives way to a tropical azure that could entrance even the coldest of hearts to gaze into their depths for hours if he would let them. But that look is fleeting. I only catch it on occasion when I turn around quickly. Within seconds the steel blue is back. What is he thinking then? I wish I knew…

I wish I knew where I stood… What does he really think of me? Am I really just a pilot to him? He’s more than just the CAG to me. Am I just his best friend? Gods I know I’m that but could I be more? Would he let me? I think I know how I feel about him, but how does he feel about me?

I wish I knew.


What do you think of when you hear the word - Fear?


Fear.

Now there is a word I am all too sick and tired of hearing, of seeing… I see it in the eyes of the nuggets when the klaxons sound the first time after they get their wings. The ones whose eyes I see it in… They're the ones I won't see make it back, maybe not this time, but the next.

With what we do, fear is instant death.

You have to go out there every time and look those metal motherfrakkers right in their glowing red eye and not flinch. If you flinch you're dead, your wingman is dead… the raider gets through. There is a saying that we live by… "You're already dead but you just don' know it." You live by that and you don't fear dying. You live every frakkin moment to the fullest. Seize every second and make the most of it cause one day, you're gonna be off your game and you're gonna be frakked right up the exhaust pipe.

Its true what they say, the only thing to fear, is fear itself. I don't fear dying, I don't fear injury. I don't fear reproach or punishment. The only thing I fear… is that one day I will look into that glowing red orb and be afraid.


Tell a story about the dumbest thing you've ever done.


I still sit here and think of just where the evening started to go wrong… I think it was about the time I decided to prove that I could clean up real good… in the hopes of rendering him speechless. There I was, me, the biggest tomboy in the 12 colonies, dolled up in a dress and heels, hair done, the works…. Well it worked. Lee was speechless alright, managed the corniest of compliments… Gods he was adorable… Awestruck even… Moments later we were on the dancefloor, dancing, laughing, and enjoying one another's company…

The next thing I know Gaius cuts in and Lee is gone… Gaius is smooth and free with the compliments, and with the ambrosia… Too free… Ambrosia and I are old friends. My partner in crime as it were. I'm not sure at what point, but somewhere along the line I wound up back in his room for yet one more glass of that fine liquor. I think I left my better judgment back at the dance…

Flirting turns to touching… and Gods it's been too long so I surrender… Even though I he was the farthest one from my mind… a fact which later became painfully evident for both of us…

I barely dress enough to e decent and retreat to the safety of my bunk… wishing like hell the bulkhead would just open up and swallow me whole… Gods how could I let that happen… Only ambrosia knows.


Which is your favorite Sin and why?


I would have to say at this point in my life, Wrath is the sin I embrace the most. In all honesty, it fuels the urge just to get out of bed in the morning. It is my wingman in combat and my friend in solitude.

Why Wrath? Well I figure I've earned the right… as has every other person still living… the cylons took everything from us. Our homes, our families, our future… All gone in a few short hours. Now we live on the run, teachers, doctors, lawyers, farmers, children… forced to become nomads in space, having to fight every day for the barest of necessities.

There is no room left for greed, save from a few who choose to profit off of humanity's misfortune. Lust is an escape... but still a luxury that time rarely allows for indulgence in. even pride has been stripped away bit by bit. How can one be a glutton when there are barely enough rations to go around… Envy? Maybe some envy those who don't have to put their lives on the line every day… Sloth… there's just not enough time for that either. All that is left to feel is wrath.

And every time I launch out into combat I make damned sure every raider feels it.